Deidara's Addiction
by BeastBoyRox746
Summary: Many people asked why Deidara was so obssessed with liquorish in Akatsuki Class. Well, here's the answer.


**OK, I got some emailz about why Deidara waz so obsessed with liquorish in Akatsuki Class (which I am totally making a sequel to...) then I got a request to explain the story of Deidara's addiction. So this is what I thought of. And the story is called... Deidara's Addiction! R&R**

It was pretty quiet in the Akatsuki hide out. Sasori was at the grocery store getting this week's groceries. Ever since Orochimaru quit, the shopping was Zetsu's job until a certain incident. Let's just say, it took a while for the store to get its shoppers back… After that day shopping was Sasori's job.

Kisame and Itachi were painting their nails, Zetsu was chasing delicious bunnies in the back yard, (The exterminator missed a couple. See Bunny Invasion.) The leader was writing death notes and Tobi was getting on everyone's nerves.

Bored completely out of his mind, Deidara just walked around thoughtlessly. With out even noticing, he had walked right into the kitchen. He was just about to leave when something caught his eye.

Resting on the counter was something Deidara had never seen before. It was a pink/red plastic bag with big white letters on it. Deidara raised an eyebrow as he fingered the bag. The assassin cautiously opened it, hoping it wasn't one of Kisame's pranks. Inside were twirled, red ropes. Gently, Deidara took one of the ropes and sniffed it. "Mmm... Smells good." He said to himself as he licked it. He paused for a moment then a wide smile came across his face.

After five minutes of smiling blankly at nothing, Tobi walked in. "Uh... I wouldn't eat that if I were you." The masked Uchiha said, knowing Deidara's sugar issues.

Deidara ignored the advice and reached for more. He grabbed five pieces and ate them all at once.

Knowing how much sugar was in liquorish, Tobi cautiously backed away as Deidara's left eye twitched. "AHHHH!!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORRRRRLD!!!" Tobi screamed as he ran out of the kitchen.

Five minutes later, the blond ninja had scarfed down the whole bag. He twitched violently as the sugar kicked in. He licked his lips and his stomach craved more.

"I want my money back!!" The Leader yelled as he and Zetsu walked into the kitchen. "The exterminator missed a few rabbits and now those beast are breeding like crazy! We have more than we did when we started!!"

"But they sure taste good..." Zetsu thought aloud as the two walked up to the counter.

"Yeah but- HOLY CRAP! Someone ate all... the... liquorish..." The Leader slowly looked up to see Deidara, twitching violently.

Zetsu followed the Leader's gaze. "You didn't! Please don't tell me you ate all that sugar..." The plant moaned.

Deidara just nodded slowly, smiling like an insane maniac. The Leader looked at the empty bag to the crazed ninja. "Argh! Deidara! You just don't go around eating random things! Especially when you don't even know what it is!! That could have been poisoned!" His yelling melted into sobs. "I needed that liquorish. Where am I going to get another package?" He whined.

"Uh..." Zetsu tapped the Leader on his shoulder. "We could call Sasori on his cell phone since he's still at the store."

The Leader jumped up. "I know! I'll call Sasori on his cell! He's still at the store you know."

"Uhh... That's what I just said."

"No it wasn't! Ugh! Whatever..." He said, placing his hands on his hips as he walked to the phone.

The carts wheels squealed along the floor as Sasori walked through the isles pushing a cart full of numerous food products. He stared down at the list he held in his hands. "Hmm... Let's see here. Eggs... check, beer... check. Live human? Hmm..." Sasori put the list down and looked around.

A young man was pushing cart. A little girl, around five, sat in the child's seat as her father looked at a can of air freshener.

"Ah ha!" The puppeteer said as he waltzed over to the two. "Excuse me." He told the little girl as she watched the strange man easily lift her dad with one hand and placed him in his cart. The little girl cried as Sasori walked off with a confused bystander. "Check." Sasori crossed it off the list and continued shopping. The cart sagged underneath the man's weight.

Sasori was examining some carrots when his cell phone went off. The puppet master reached into his cloak and pulled out a black cell phone with red outlines. He moaned as he flipped the lid. "What?!"

"Uh... hi. It's Zetsu. We need you to get another package of liquorish. Deidara ate it all." There was a long pause. "Oh! And see of you can get a straight jacket too. We might need it..." The plant finished as he eyed Deidara.

"Whatever..."

After finding the last thing on the list, Sasori made his way to the check out.

"Um, sir? This item doesn't have a barcode on it." The cashier said, pointing a handheld scanner at the confused person, sitting in the cart. Sasori looked at the baffled man and thought for a moment.

Finally, he turned around to the person waiting behind him. (Which happened to be some random old lady.) "May I borrow this? Thank you." The puppet master said blandly taking a can of beans from the old farts cart. He ripped the barcode off the can and slapped it to his unlabeled persons forehead. "Now it does."

Both the cashier, the random person, and the old lady stared blankly at the guy in the cart for a few minutes. Sasori glared at the cashier as he threw the label-less can back into the old ladies cart.

A few birds were perched on abandoned carts in the drive way as Sasori walked out of the store, armed with a cart, plastic bags filled with food, and a man who now cost as much as a can of beans.

Back at the hideout, Deidara was bouncing off the walls, still high on sugar, when he saw Sasori come up on the driveway. He eyed the silent assassin as he walked through the door. Close behind was a strange and confused man with a bean label stuck to his forehead. That's when Deidara caught a glimpse of liquorish through the plastic bag. A wide smile spread across Deidara's face.

Sasori walked into the kitchen and threw the groceries on the counter. "ITACHI! COME PUT THE DAMN GROCERIES AWAY!" Sasori yelled.

"YOU DO IT! I'M BUSY!!" Itachi yelled back from his room.

"Busy painting to your nails…" Sasori mumbled under his breath as he stormed out of the kitchen to find a certain Uchiha who was obviously grocery impaired.

After the puppeteer left, Deidara appeared from out of his hiding place, which was in the cupboard filled with knives, which didn't end up that well… Deidara was left alone… in the kitchen… with a whole bag of liquorish! -dramatic music- The waterfall nin crawled up the counter and found his precious liquorish. He couldn't help but drool as he grabbed the bag and made a run for it.

The Leader walked into the kitchen dragging Itachi and Sasori by their eye to settle a debate over groceries. "No! I put the groceries away last week!!" Itachi whined as he kicked the air.

"No you didn't! We didn't even get any groceries last week!" Sasori scowled.

The Leader had enough. "I… don't… CARE!!! YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO SHUT YOUR PIE HOLES AND PUT THOSE GROCERIES AWAY!!!"

"But… but…"

"SHUT IT!! I DON'T CARE HOW YOU TWO DO IT, JUST PUT THEM AWAY!!! HECK, KILL YOURSELVES IF YOU HAVE TO!" The two ninjas smiled as he suggested killing themselves.

The Leader dragged Itachi and Sasori over to the counter where the plastic grocery bags were. He examined where the bags lay. Suddenly, he gasped and released his grip on the two ninjas, causing them to tumble onto the floor. "DEEEEEIIIDDDAAARRAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mean while, somewhere else in the Akatsuki hideout a random guy with a bean label on his forehead ran for his life, followed by a hungry Zetsu.

**Well, that waz all. Hoped ya lieked it. LOL! A bean kan label! I crack myself up! -sigh- **


End file.
